I said right at the start of making this blog that I wasn't sure how personal I wanted to make it. I feel like I can be extremely honest here and from the last couple posts you guys have made really interesting comments and I like the discussions we get going, especially on issues that mean a lot to me. So here's what I want to talk about today and please don't be scared. It's romance.
About 8 months ago I broke up with my long term boyfriend. It was my decision and I didn't regret it afterwards. I was living in a different country at the time and I guess I just didn't miss him as much as I should have. That was how I knew. Anyway, this is just background. Literally, since then I've been in a completely 'anti-romance' 'anti-relationship' phase and I've loved it! Except when I watch rom-coms because then I want to be sick over everybody. But generally the freedom and independence and just not having to worry about guys is amazing! This doesn't mean I've not been dating but I guess you could say I have commitment issues. But now, I think I'm growing out of this stage, I'm moving on and you know what? It terrifies me! It's as if I know I would be happy and comfortable in a relationship now but I'm too scared to actively go looking for one. Or something. I'm not quite sure, it's very difficult to articulate.
I know this seems extremely personal but I feel fine about putting it on the internet because it's all so vague. I am still very happy in my situation, however, I do believe that whatever situation you're in you should be happy. Otherwise, you need to change your situation immediately.
I hope it's not too personal, but what are your opinions on relationships/romance? Do you think it's overrated? Could you not live without it?
Hannah
P.S. I may gag at cheesy romantic moments in films but I think deep down, like really deap down, I'm jealous.
7 Dec 2011
22 Oct 2011
Is religion dead?
I'm supposed to be writing an essay right now so I'm on the internet. Standard.
Following on from my last serious blog about sex education I'd like to carry on with this grown up talk. So the essay I've got to write is about secularisation in 20th century Europe, I never thought I'd find the history of religion interesting but hell it is.
I am Jewish but also an atheist. It's easy for me to self-define this way because there are so many parts of Judaism that I can celebrate for purely cultural or traditional reasons rather than religious. A bit like Christmas for most of society these days. More often than not we're celebrating being with our family, presents and a massive meal. We're not celebrating the birth of Jesus.
My upbringing was very interesting, I live in a part of Manchester which is stereotypically known to be very hippie, left wing, vegetarian etc... And it is also extremely atheist. Growing up and going to primary school and then secondary school I felt that religion was dead, it was never an issue that came up and none of my friends were religious. Then I went to sixth form college and I met my first Catholic and it was weird. I genuinely believed they didn't exist in Britain anymore. But hey it turns out they do and now one of my best friends is a Catholic and an ex-boyfriend of mine was also a Christian. However, in my world they were still a minority. Then I came to university and within my block in my halls of residence at least one fifth are Christian. Now this completely screwed over my little brain that told me almost everyone nowadays is an atheist. It really shows how being brought up in a certain way or a certain place can make you believe things about the world.
Being away from home and the environment I grew up in is really helping me learn things about the world that I otherwise would never have found out if I hadn't moved out.
I realise religion is a tricky topic and often people don't like to talk about their personal beliefs in public. However, I'd like to know if you ever had any preconceptions about the world and then you were proved wrong.
I hope you all have a good weekend and you don't have an essay to write like I do.
Hannah
3 Oct 2011
Sex
I am passionate about a lot of things and obviously as a human being sex is one of them. But, that's not what I want to talk about here. I want to talk about sex education.
I was educated in the UK in secular comprehensive schools and so my sex education growing up was a lot better than some people in say religious schools. In primary school we were taught about puberty, relationships and reproduction. In secondary school we were taught about contraception: aged 14 I had to put a condom on a test tube, I was shown photos of genitals of worst case scenario STIs, taught about abortion, all other different types of contraception and the myths and legends about sex. I am so grateful for this education I received in my early teens and even though those photos were absolutely disgusting it was worth my teachers showing them to us because it taught me one of the most valuable lessons you can learn in your life. And that lesson may even one day save your life.
Some, were not as lucky as me, and in their schools were taught next to nothing about sex and so when it came to experiencing it first hand they were completely clueless. I'm not going to name any names but when I was 17 I got very close to having sex with a guy but neither of us had a condom. His exact words were, "it doesn't matter, I'll pull out before I cum." Seriously!? Rule 1: you can still get pregnant or catch STIs even if the man doesn't ejaculate. Have you ever heard of pre-cum?
I strongly believe that every child and teenager has the right to a good and proper sex education. So many pregnancies and STIs occur simply because of ignorance. And it's not just the issues I mentioned that need to be addressed. So many people (teenagers especially) have no where to go if they have intimate questions about sex, body image or puberty.
I have come up with a mini solution. Seeing as I make videos on YouTube and my insight stats tells me that most of you who watch my videos are aged between 14-17, I thought where is a better place to educate people than via my YouTube channel. What do you think?
I plan on making a sex education video in the near future but I need your help! Please ask me questions on my tumblr (you can do it anonymously there) on any topic that fits in with sex and puberty. I will use these questions to come up with topics and a structure for the video and will obviously answer them too.
Thanks very much for reading this ramble!
Stay safe and sexy!
Hannah
I was educated in the UK in secular comprehensive schools and so my sex education growing up was a lot better than some people in say religious schools. In primary school we were taught about puberty, relationships and reproduction. In secondary school we were taught about contraception: aged 14 I had to put a condom on a test tube, I was shown photos of genitals of worst case scenario STIs, taught about abortion, all other different types of contraception and the myths and legends about sex. I am so grateful for this education I received in my early teens and even though those photos were absolutely disgusting it was worth my teachers showing them to us because it taught me one of the most valuable lessons you can learn in your life. And that lesson may even one day save your life.
Some, were not as lucky as me, and in their schools were taught next to nothing about sex and so when it came to experiencing it first hand they were completely clueless. I'm not going to name any names but when I was 17 I got very close to having sex with a guy but neither of us had a condom. His exact words were, "it doesn't matter, I'll pull out before I cum." Seriously!? Rule 1: you can still get pregnant or catch STIs even if the man doesn't ejaculate. Have you ever heard of pre-cum?
I strongly believe that every child and teenager has the right to a good and proper sex education. So many pregnancies and STIs occur simply because of ignorance. And it's not just the issues I mentioned that need to be addressed. So many people (teenagers especially) have no where to go if they have intimate questions about sex, body image or puberty.
I have come up with a mini solution. Seeing as I make videos on YouTube and my insight stats tells me that most of you who watch my videos are aged between 14-17, I thought where is a better place to educate people than via my YouTube channel. What do you think?
I plan on making a sex education video in the near future but I need your help! Please ask me questions on my tumblr (you can do it anonymously there) on any topic that fits in with sex and puberty. I will use these questions to come up with topics and a structure for the video and will obviously answer them too.
Thanks very much for reading this ramble!
Stay safe and sexy!
Hannah
11 Sept 2011
Distracted by Cake
It's time to do that thing I hate. Packing.
I'm going off to university in 6 days and I have no idea what I want to take with me and what should stay at home. The boot of my parents car will probably be overflowing with all my things when we drive down and the rooms you get in halls are pretty small so where's all my stuff going to go?
Tomorrow is the infamous trip to IKEA where I'll buy all the things for my flat like pots and pans, a toaster, a cheese grater and a cake tin. How can I forget a cake tin? Oh, and a cupcake tray! I almost forgot that one. I think my new diet will just consist of cake. Actually, I want to make a banana cake now, I've just inspired myself. Brb.
Okay so cake's in the oven now. Seriously, I will do anything to distract myself from thinking about packing let alone the actual act of packing. I hope when I'm uni I don't let cake distract me from studying. I'm actually quite nervous about that part. Because I took a gap year it has been a long time since I've had to write an essay or do any kind of academic reading. I think I've forgotten how to hold a pen or read a book.
Speaking of studying, I've bought 2 books off my reading list. They look big and scary and are sitting on my desk just starring at me... I should probably read at least the introductions before I go, right?
Packing- not done.
Reading- not done.
Shopping- nearly done.
Cake- done.
I hope my new flatmates like cake.
Hannah
6 Sept 2011
A Day in the Life of Hannah (ill edition)
So today I'm ill. I wasn't at the beginning of the day, I was actually feeling pretty fine, just sneezing a little bit here and there. Then I went to work and I got worse. So now I'm at home again.
So what do I do when I'm ill?
First thing I did was eat a piece of toast, need food in me, right? Then I did the most important thing which is get into my pyjamas, my favourite jumper and my bed socks. Then I got my laptop, got into bed and decided to write a blog about today. I've nearly used up my first tissue, I've eaten two chocolate bars and I most definitely haven't drunk enough water.
Now, I've just woken up from trying to sleep. I say trying because I was constantly kept awake by my runny nose. Oh the joys a being ill!
Oh god, it's happened, I've taken being ill as an excuse to divulge in crap T.V so now I've got 3 episodes of The X Factor to watch. The first contestant has already offended me. Some 18 year old guy called Frankie who is in it just for the ladies and not afraid to say so. He has 7 girls' names tattooed on his bum! This is just insane...
Chocolate bar #3
Okay so I wanted to eat chocolate bar #4 but I CAN'T FIND IT! Seriously, I've looked everywhere in my bed. This is really bothering me. I am 100% sure I went downstairs and got chocolate bar #3 and #4, I ate #3 and kept #4 for later. I've even counted the wrappers so I've definitely not eaten it. WHERE IS IT?!
Oh my bad. I just recounted the wrappers. I ate #4. I don't remember that... I must be really ill.
What do you guys do when you're ill?
Hannah
So what do I do when I'm ill?
First thing I did was eat a piece of toast, need food in me, right? Then I did the most important thing which is get into my pyjamas, my favourite jumper and my bed socks. Then I got my laptop, got into bed and decided to write a blog about today. I've nearly used up my first tissue, I've eaten two chocolate bars and I most definitely haven't drunk enough water.Now, I've just woken up from trying to sleep. I say trying because I was constantly kept awake by my runny nose. Oh the joys a being ill!
Oh god, it's happened, I've taken being ill as an excuse to divulge in crap T.V so now I've got 3 episodes of The X Factor to watch. The first contestant has already offended me. Some 18 year old guy called Frankie who is in it just for the ladies and not afraid to say so. He has 7 girls' names tattooed on his bum! This is just insane...
Chocolate bar #3
Okay so I wanted to eat chocolate bar #4 but I CAN'T FIND IT! Seriously, I've looked everywhere in my bed. This is really bothering me. I am 100% sure I went downstairs and got chocolate bar #3 and #4, I ate #3 and kept #4 for later. I've even counted the wrappers so I've definitely not eaten it. WHERE IS IT?!
Oh my bad. I just recounted the wrappers. I ate #4. I don't remember that... I must be really ill.
What do you guys do when you're ill?
Hannah
4 Sept 2011
I can't vlog.
So I tried to make a video today... That failed. Sorry about that.
Whenever anyone says to me, "Oh, you make videos on YouTube? What kind of videos do you make?" I have no idea what to say to them. What kind of videos do I make? Vlogs? Sketches? Stories? Songs? One thing for certain though is that I feel most comfortable in front of the camera when I'm not talking so much. In fact, in my most viewed video I say one line in the whole thing. I like it when I don't speak, mess around and make a fun video. Vlogs, on the other hand, make me feel awkward and words don't come out of my mouth right.
I have so much that I want to share with you guys that I thought the best way would be to do a traditional vlog. But I just felt weird and awkward and when it came to editing I just thought "well this is definitely not going on the internet" and it is not. BUT I STILL WANT TO TELL YOU ALL THE THINGS! I may put them in a vlog soon and work out a funner way for me to talk to a camera but for now I'll just tell you here : )
Firstly, I'm moving out in about 2 weeks to go to university. I'm going to be studying history at the University of Birmingham and I can't wait! I'm so excited to be starting a new chapter in my life and I'll be making new friends, experiencing new things and learning again (I'm a bit out of practice). I got a letter the other day about choosing which modules I want to take and it had a reading list and everything so it feels like it's getting very real.
Secondly, I want to talk about charities and helping people out and stuff. My friend Jonathan is doing a skydive for the charity Mind on the 8th October. I've sponsored him £10 and we would appreciate it a lot if you just had a look at the Facebook event and considered sponsoring too. I'm pretty sure there is no minimum amount so you can sponsor however much you like and it goes towards a great charity.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=200505836675910
Also, you may or may not have heard of Harry & Alfie on YouTube. They are Irish brothers who are musicians and are currently holding a Pledge Campaign to raise money for their new EP and 10% of everything raised will go towards The Ross Nugent Foundation. I've pledged for a Harry & Alfie canvas bag and a ticket to their pledgers only gig in London. They are really brilliant musicians and if you like their music I strongly recommend pledging for something. The campaign has less than a month left and they're at 75% of their target and they need to reach 100%.
http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/harryandalfie
And lastly, I was going to mention in the vlog how I have a blog but obviously there's no point in doing that here because if you're reading this then you know I have a blog.
Sorry about the no video thing but I'm not going to upload any old rubbish just so I have regular uploads. I'd rather put content out that I am proud of and I think you guys will like and find interesting.
Thanks for putting up with me.
Hannah
Whenever anyone says to me, "Oh, you make videos on YouTube? What kind of videos do you make?" I have no idea what to say to them. What kind of videos do I make? Vlogs? Sketches? Stories? Songs? One thing for certain though is that I feel most comfortable in front of the camera when I'm not talking so much. In fact, in my most viewed video I say one line in the whole thing. I like it when I don't speak, mess around and make a fun video. Vlogs, on the other hand, make me feel awkward and words don't come out of my mouth right.
I have so much that I want to share with you guys that I thought the best way would be to do a traditional vlog. But I just felt weird and awkward and when it came to editing I just thought "well this is definitely not going on the internet" and it is not. BUT I STILL WANT TO TELL YOU ALL THE THINGS! I may put them in a vlog soon and work out a funner way for me to talk to a camera but for now I'll just tell you here : )
Firstly, I'm moving out in about 2 weeks to go to university. I'm going to be studying history at the University of Birmingham and I can't wait! I'm so excited to be starting a new chapter in my life and I'll be making new friends, experiencing new things and learning again (I'm a bit out of practice). I got a letter the other day about choosing which modules I want to take and it had a reading list and everything so it feels like it's getting very real.
Secondly, I want to talk about charities and helping people out and stuff. My friend Jonathan is doing a skydive for the charity Mind on the 8th October. I've sponsored him £10 and we would appreciate it a lot if you just had a look at the Facebook event and considered sponsoring too. I'm pretty sure there is no minimum amount so you can sponsor however much you like and it goes towards a great charity.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=200505836675910
Also, you may or may not have heard of Harry & Alfie on YouTube. They are Irish brothers who are musicians and are currently holding a Pledge Campaign to raise money for their new EP and 10% of everything raised will go towards The Ross Nugent Foundation. I've pledged for a Harry & Alfie canvas bag and a ticket to their pledgers only gig in London. They are really brilliant musicians and if you like their music I strongly recommend pledging for something. The campaign has less than a month left and they're at 75% of their target and they need to reach 100%.
http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/harryandalfie
And lastly, I was going to mention in the vlog how I have a blog but obviously there's no point in doing that here because if you're reading this then you know I have a blog.
Sorry about the no video thing but I'm not going to upload any old rubbish just so I have regular uploads. I'd rather put content out that I am proud of and I think you guys will like and find interesting.
Thanks for putting up with me.
Hannah
24 Aug 2011
Music and Festivals
I want to talk to you guys about music!
Now I really like music but I don't know a lot about it. For example, I have no idea who is in the charts at the moment, genres of music confuse me and generally I haven't really heard of that many bands, I tend to just keep listening to the same people over and over again.
I like all kinds of music but my favourite genre by far is folk but more modern folk (I don't know what you call it). If you like harmonies, loveliness, great voices, awesome melodies, clever lyrics and such check out these people, they are really incredible!
First Aid Kit
Mountain Man
The Avett Brothers
Stornoway
Emmy the Great
Kate Miller-Heidke
Seriously, they are all wonderful and I wish I could write songs like them.
A thing I like to do is sing and I think I'm pretty good at it but just singing all the time often annoys people so about 2/3 years ago I decided to learn how to play the guitar just for the sole purpose of being able to play the songs I like to sing (less annoying that way, no?). However, I'm really bad at the guitar. I only know a few chords and I can only do one strumming pattern so every song I play sounds the same. I can only play 3 songs by plucking which I'm really proud of but it's still pretty difficult for me. But anyways, I love just playing covers on my guitar when I have nothing better to do and searching on Ultimate Guitar for tabs to all my favourite songs.
I went to Green Man Festival last weekend which is quite a small folky festival in Wales. And it was absolutely wonderful. I got to see The Avett Brothers, Laura Marling, Fleet Foxes, Gruff Rhys and lots of other bands. Oh and Tim Minchin, twice : ) The festival itself was really friendly and sunny, seriously one of the best weekends of my life. If you have never been to a music festival with the fields and tents and mud then I strongly recommend you do, they are glorious and you should never miss out on glorious things.
Based on the kind of music I like, if you have any recommendations of bands for me to listen to, that would be amazing! Even if they're not folky, I'm pretty open minded (as long as it's not heavy metal or RnB).
Hannah
Now I really like music but I don't know a lot about it. For example, I have no idea who is in the charts at the moment, genres of music confuse me and generally I haven't really heard of that many bands, I tend to just keep listening to the same people over and over again.
I like all kinds of music but my favourite genre by far is folk but more modern folk (I don't know what you call it). If you like harmonies, loveliness, great voices, awesome melodies, clever lyrics and such check out these people, they are really incredible!
First Aid Kit
Mountain Man
The Avett Brothers
Stornoway
Emmy the Great
Kate Miller-Heidke
Seriously, they are all wonderful and I wish I could write songs like them.
A thing I like to do is sing and I think I'm pretty good at it but just singing all the time often annoys people so about 2/3 years ago I decided to learn how to play the guitar just for the sole purpose of being able to play the songs I like to sing (less annoying that way, no?). However, I'm really bad at the guitar. I only know a few chords and I can only do one strumming pattern so every song I play sounds the same. I can only play 3 songs by plucking which I'm really proud of but it's still pretty difficult for me. But anyways, I love just playing covers on my guitar when I have nothing better to do and searching on Ultimate Guitar for tabs to all my favourite songs.
I went to Green Man Festival last weekend which is quite a small folky festival in Wales. And it was absolutely wonderful. I got to see The Avett Brothers, Laura Marling, Fleet Foxes, Gruff Rhys and lots of other bands. Oh and Tim Minchin, twice : ) The festival itself was really friendly and sunny, seriously one of the best weekends of my life. If you have never been to a music festival with the fields and tents and mud then I strongly recommend you do, they are glorious and you should never miss out on glorious things.
Based on the kind of music I like, if you have any recommendations of bands for me to listen to, that would be amazing! Even if they're not folky, I'm pretty open minded (as long as it's not heavy metal or RnB).
Hannah
17 Aug 2011
State of non-emotion
So I made this blog this morning and it's not until now that I've even managed to write an actual sentence into a post. I have no idea where this is going...
I'm slightly confused as to what I want to turn this into. I'd like it to be a space for me to ramble and write down my thoughts and just general goings on but then I'm not sure how personal I want to make this. I want to get the same feeling out of this as I did when I was 13-15 and I kept a diary but I most certainly do not want to be writing the same sort of things down. (When I was 16 I found my old diaries, read bits of them and was so mortified by my young naive self that I threw them all away- I've never kept a diary since).
I want to tell you guys about how I just got back from an amazing holiday in Croatia with my family and family friends from Austin. I want to tell you about the books I read on holiday and how I reread Harry Potter and the Dealthy Hallows which was a weird experience when I finished because usually I read the book again after the film comes out but because that's the last one and all the films are out now I have no idea when the next time I will read those books is... Perhaps reading them to my children...? Odd thought.
I also want to tell you about how I'm going to Green Man Festival tomorrow and really I should be packing right now but I just can't bring myself to start. I love music festivals and I'm really excited for this one but today I'm just in a state of non-emotion, if that can exist. I guess a state of non-emotion can't exist because the truth is I'm feeling a big meh, bleurgh, akjdhfksdf. Those are emotions, right? I know I'll have an amazing time but right now I'm finding it hard to get excited for it (hence the not packing).
Sometimes I do just feel a bit down and I can never pin point what has happened to make me feel meh. Maybe it's because in general I'm such a happy person, a bit too happy sometimes and my brain can't take it and so has to have these extreme moments of not happy just to balance it out. It won't last long though so don't worry about me guys. I know myself well enough to know that if I keep busy I'll be happy. However, checking YouTube and Twitter every five minutes does not count as keeping busy. I'm the type of person that has to be constantly doing things, always on the go, always full of energy and ideas for things. Unfortunately, not today. Maybe I'm having holiday withdrawal symtoms...
Well I guess this has turned into something fairly personal. If anyone has read this then I guess you now know me a little bit better.
Hannah
I'm slightly confused as to what I want to turn this into. I'd like it to be a space for me to ramble and write down my thoughts and just general goings on but then I'm not sure how personal I want to make this. I want to get the same feeling out of this as I did when I was 13-15 and I kept a diary but I most certainly do not want to be writing the same sort of things down. (When I was 16 I found my old diaries, read bits of them and was so mortified by my young naive self that I threw them all away- I've never kept a diary since).
I want to tell you guys about how I just got back from an amazing holiday in Croatia with my family and family friends from Austin. I want to tell you about the books I read on holiday and how I reread Harry Potter and the Dealthy Hallows which was a weird experience when I finished because usually I read the book again after the film comes out but because that's the last one and all the films are out now I have no idea when the next time I will read those books is... Perhaps reading them to my children...? Odd thought.
I also want to tell you about how I'm going to Green Man Festival tomorrow and really I should be packing right now but I just can't bring myself to start. I love music festivals and I'm really excited for this one but today I'm just in a state of non-emotion, if that can exist. I guess a state of non-emotion can't exist because the truth is I'm feeling a big meh, bleurgh, akjdhfksdf. Those are emotions, right? I know I'll have an amazing time but right now I'm finding it hard to get excited for it (hence the not packing).
Sometimes I do just feel a bit down and I can never pin point what has happened to make me feel meh. Maybe it's because in general I'm such a happy person, a bit too happy sometimes and my brain can't take it and so has to have these extreme moments of not happy just to balance it out. It won't last long though so don't worry about me guys. I know myself well enough to know that if I keep busy I'll be happy. However, checking YouTube and Twitter every five minutes does not count as keeping busy. I'm the type of person that has to be constantly doing things, always on the go, always full of energy and ideas for things. Unfortunately, not today. Maybe I'm having holiday withdrawal symtoms...
Well I guess this has turned into something fairly personal. If anyone has read this then I guess you now know me a little bit better.
Hannah
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