I can't vlog.

So I tried to make a video today... That failed. Sorry about that.

Whenever anyone says to me, "Oh, you make videos on YouTube? What kind of videos do you make?" I have no idea what to say to them. What kind of videos do I make? Vlogs? Sketches? Stories? Songs? One thing for certain though is that I feel most comfortable in front of the camera when I'm not talking so much. In fact, in my most viewed video I say one line in the whole thing. I like it when I don't speak, mess around and make a fun video. Vlogs, on the other hand, make me feel awkward and words don't come out of my mouth right.

I have so much that I want to share with you guys that I thought the best way would be to do a traditional vlog. But I just felt weird and awkward and when it came to editing I just thought "well this is definitely not going on the internet" and it is not. BUT I STILL WANT TO TELL YOU ALL THE THINGS! I may put them in a vlog soon and work out a funner way for me to talk to a camera but for now I'll just tell you here : )

Firstly, I'm moving out in about 2 weeks to go to university. I'm going to be studying history at the University of Birmingham and I can't wait! I'm so excited to be starting a new chapter in my life and I'll be making new friends, experiencing new things and learning again (I'm a bit out of practice). I got a letter the other day about choosing which modules I want to take and it had a reading list and everything so it feels like it's getting very real.

Secondly, I want to talk about charities and helping people out and stuff. My friend Jonathan is doing a skydive for the charity Mind on the 8th October. I've sponsored him £10 and we would appreciate it a lot if you just had a look at the Facebook event and considered sponsoring too. I'm pretty sure there is no minimum amount so you can sponsor however much you like and it goes towards a great charity.

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=200505836675910

Also, you may or may not have heard of Harry & Alfie on YouTube. They are Irish brothers who are musicians and are currently holding a Pledge Campaign to raise money for their new EP and 10% of everything raised will go towards The Ross Nugent Foundation. I've pledged for a Harry & Alfie canvas bag and a ticket to their pledgers only gig in London. They are really brilliant musicians and if you like their music I strongly recommend pledging for something. The campaign has less than a month left and they're at 75% of their target and they need to reach 100%.

http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/harryandalfie

And lastly, I was going to mention in the vlog how I have a blog but obviously there's no point in doing that here because if you're reading this then you know I have a blog.

Sorry about the no video thing but I'm not going to upload any old rubbish just so I have regular uploads. I'd rather put content out that I am proud of and I think you guys will like and find interesting.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Hannah

State of non-emotion

So I made this blog this morning and it's not until now that I've even managed to write an actual sentence into a post. I have no idea where this is going...

I'm slightly confused as to what I want to turn this into. I'd like it to be a space for me to ramble and write down my thoughts and just general goings on but then I'm not sure how personal I want to make this. I want to get the same feeling out of this as I did when I was 13-15 and I kept a diary but I most certainly do not want to be writing the same sort of things down. (When I was 16 I found my old diaries, read bits of them and was so mortified by my young naive self that I threw them all away- I've never kept a diary since).

I want to tell you guys about how I just got back from an amazing holiday in Croatia with my family and family friends from Austin. I want to tell you about the books I read on holiday and how I reread Harry Potter and the Dealthy Hallows which was a weird experience when I finished because usually I read the book again after the film comes out but because that's the last one and all the films are out now I have no idea when the next time I will read those books is... Perhaps reading them to my children...? Odd thought.

I also want to tell you about how I'm going to Green Man Festival tomorrow and really I should be packing right now but I just can't bring myself to start. I love music festivals and I'm really excited for this one but today I'm just in a state of non-emotion, if that can exist. I guess a state of non-emotion can't exist because the truth is I'm feeling a big meh, bleurgh, akjdhfksdf. Those are emotions, right? I know I'll have an amazing time but right now I'm finding it hard to get excited for it (hence the not packing).

Sometimes I do just feel a bit down and I can never pin point what has happened to make me feel meh. Maybe it's because in general I'm such a happy person, a bit too happy sometimes and my brain can't take it and so has to have these extreme moments of not happy just to balance it out. It won't last long though so don't worry about me guys. I know myself well enough to know that if I keep busy I'll be happy. However, checking YouTube and Twitter every five minutes does not count as keeping busy. I'm the type of person that has to be constantly doing things, always on the go, always full of energy and ideas for things. Unfortunately, not today. Maybe I'm having holiday withdrawal symtoms...

Well I guess this has turned into something fairly personal. If anyone has read this then I guess you now know me a little bit better.

Hannah